Excellent Mashup Halloween Costume Suggestions for 2013
Your one stop shop for clever Halloween costume ideas.
Halloween was built on the mashup — the concept of taking two things and mashing them together into a single, more sensational something. Take vampires for example. They’re a mashup of people and bats. Or werewolves, which are a mashup of people and wolves. And don’t forget mummies, a mashup of people and toilet paper.
In film, there’s A Nightmare Before Christmas, which mashes up the most wonderful time of the year with the most spooky, scary time of the year. In the world of literature, Mary Shelley detailed the most epic mashup of all time in her Gothic novel Frankenstein. And no list of Halloween mashups would be complete without, perhaps the most famous Halloween mash of all time, Bobby “Boris” Picket’s number one hit single, “Monster Mash”.
Clearly, Halloween was built on this idea of mashing things up, so what better way is there to celebrate than with a mashup costume? There isn’t one. Here are my mashup Halloween costume suggestions for 2014.
To start, grow out your underbeard and wear a giant, black, furry coat like Jon Snow from Game of Thrones. Next, you’ll need to carry a laptop and wear a pair of those techie, rectangular-lensed, semi-framed eyeglasses that Edward Snowden is always wearing. The finishing touch: all night long, nobody should be able to really decide whether you’re on their side or a traitor. They’ll say, “You know nothing Jon Snowden.” “Oh, really?” you’ll reply, “Or do I know all of the NSA’s secrets… and also a couple nice sleeping spots in the Moscow airport?”
Retired Pope Benedictionary
Dress as your favorite edition of the Dictionary and wear a homemade paper pope hat (or FedEx pope hat for an even mashier mashup). Finally, to drive home the “retired” vibe, you’ll want to wear sandals, blue blockers, and a bathing suit or some other type of elastic-waisted pant. The power of Christ compels you! to take up a hobby and go on that trip you’ve always wanted to go on!
Dress in a cool, futuristic robot suit like the guys in Daft Punk. Then tape a dashing mustache onto your space helmet. Otherwise, nobody will get the reference to William Howard Taft, the only person to ever serve as President of the United States and Chief Justice of the United States Supreme Court. You’ll be up all night, laying down the law and the groove!
Aside from [SPOILER!] a leash in a Nazi meth lab, Jesse Pinkman is also bound to be one of the most popular Halloween costumes this year. So, if you want to stand out, you’re going to have to be unpredictable—just like the show from which you drew your ‘stume-spiration (costume + inspiration). For the perfect mash up costume, dress like Jesse Pinkman, but drape a homemade Plinko board around your neck. The price is right…bitch!
For starters, wear some Ralph, a Jesus piece, and your flyest leather jogging pant. For the finishing touch, throw on a Spawn mask instead of those other masks Kanye’s been wearing on the Yeezus Tour. This mash up costume will leave you with superhuman strength, stamina, healing, fashion sense, rhythm, and ego.
First, you’ll need to dress like a ham. And when I say “ham,” I mean the cured meat, not, you know, William Shatner or something. And when I say “cured meat,” I mean the kind you see when a delusional, hungry cartoon character fantasizes about eating his cartoon character friend. You’ll also need a meat thermometer to deliver the “done” portion of the joke. But once you have that down, all you need is a pixie cut, critically acclaimed television show, $3.7 million book deal, and you’re good to go!
Johnny Manziel Washington
First, throw on your officially unofficial Texas A&M Johnny “Football” jersey. Then spend the night doing your best Denzel Washington impression. And make sure to bring a pen for autographs, otherwise your fellow partygoers may write you off. This mash up leaves you as both an Oscar and Heisman winner, so you’ll have to be ready to perform. But that shouldn’t be a problem, you clever devil, you. “Howie Long ain’t got wit on me!”
Dress in a monkey costume, but over top of it, wear the uniform of our favorite federal lawman, Raylan Givens. Don’t forget the cowboy hat, either. When you’re ready to ride, head to the bar. The bouncer will say, “For admission, please line up to the left.” That’s when you step into the line and say, “Now this line is…justified.” Once you’re in, spend the night drinking banana daiquiris made with Kentucky straight bourbon.
Can Of Steel
Dress like a big metal can. Paint the Superman logo on the front. It’s a bird… It’s a plane… No, it’s a super easy mashup Halloween costume.
Robert Townie, Jr.
Grow a meticulously groomed goatee and wear a thousand dollar suit. Then spend the entire night dryly remarking about how you are unaffiliated with the college of the town that you live in.
Wear your typical Duck Dynasty costume—beard, bandana, boots— except replace all the camouflage with tie-dye. You might need to carry an actual duck call around with you, though, so people don’t mistake your costume for a hippie.
Mackeralmore & Ryan Lewis
Robin Thicke Mashups
This will undoubtedly be one of the most popular costumes of the year. If you’re set on doing it, you’re going to need to put a twist on it to keep it fresh. Fortunately, there are plenty of angles to take.
Robin Shtick: The first step is to dress up in the Beetlejuice suit Robin Thicke wore during the MTV Video Music Awards this year. However, unlike that performance, this one will require some preparation. Specifically, you’ll need some sort of comedic shtick. It can be new or recycled, creative or hack, physical, verbal, or even pun-based. I mean, when it comes to shtick, the lines are blurred. My advice: keep it as broad as the stripes on your suit. Here’s a jumping off point.
Sobbin’ Thicke: Same wardrobe as above, except you’ll need to wear some smeared, runny eye-liner so it looks like you’ve been crying all night. Your look will be screaming “hug me!”
Robbin’ Thicke: Same wardrobe as above, except add the Hamburglar’s black mask and hat, and carry a sack of loot.
Blurred Wines: Dress like a bottle of wine, but when you print out the novelty-sized wine label, make it pixelated and hard to read.
Miley Cyrus Mashups
The front-runner for most popular Halloween costume of 2013 is surely Miley Cyrus. If you’re planning on just bein’ Miley, you’re going to have to do better than that to differentiate yourself from all the other tongue-wagging, three-quarter naked girls out there. Use these humorous affectations for humorous effect.
Shyly Cyrus: Instead of acting insanely confident about your complete lack of clothing, act extremely shy about it.
Dryly Cyrus: Channel your inner Daria and act really sarcastic and dry all night. A probably less fun twist on this mashup, is to just not drink.
Miley Virus: Cough and sneeze all night, and make sure to carry around some NyQuil. After all, you can’t have Miley without Juicy J, and you can’t have Juicy J without some sizzurp, and you can’t have sizzurp without NyQuil.
Miley Iris: I’m suggesting you mashup your Miley Cyrus costume with the music video for “Iris” by the Goo Goo Dolls. Clearly, this is the most obscure costume idea on the list, but it’s also likely to be the most rewarding for the few who can figure it out. And on account of the numerous, Tim Buton-esque telescopes you’ll need pull it off, it’s a very complicated Halloween costume to make, as well. So, is it worth the effort? Yes.
Coincidentally, legend has it that if you listen to “Iris” three times in a row on Halloween while sitting alone in the dark, Nicolas Cage will appear out of thin air… brooding.
Those are all my mashup costume suggestions for 2013, folks. Happy Halloween from Halftime Hennessy. Have a good time out there and don’t forget send us pics if you use any of these pretty cool ‘stumes.