About Joe

Joe Petro is an avid breather. His favorite Beatle is Paul McCartney. His favorite beetle is Coccinella septempunctata. There’s something in the way he moves—a limp perhaps. He fills up on bread. He runs late for trains. And he has watched all the bonus features.

His numerous, humorous diversions can be read on Twitter or his blog. And his Instagram as been described as "fire" and “like, always on point.”

Joe Petro lives in Los Angeles, CA where he is happily married to his Netflix account. He regrets writing this in the third-person.


As a kind and helpful gesture, he filled out this stock personal questionnaire that will hopefully answer the rest of your questions. If not, please inquire here.

What are your three favorite things?

My three favorite things are long walks on the beach and withholding information.

What do you do for a living?

I'm the one responsible for smashing every single Nature Valley bar with a mallet before they leave the factory. I'm great at my job.

If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

To bed.

How do you have fun?

Do whatever you like to do. I can’t tell you how to live your life. But maybe listen to some music or go to a carnival or drink a Coca Cola?

What is the last book you read, and did you enjoy it?

"I Think I’ve Got It" by Jove. It was full of surprises.

What languages do you speak?

Native English speaker; proficient in Seinfeld and Caddyshack.

What is your favorite possession?

NYG, Q4 2:39–0:35, Super Bowl XLII.

What's your theme song?

"Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini" by Sergei Rachmaninoff, or "Mmmbop" by Hanson.

What three things do you never leave the house without?

Shoes, pants, bowtie.

What is one word that describes your life?